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Range Rover Sport SVR: the Red Hot Chili Rhinoceros

[dropcap style=”style1″]T[/dropcap]he Modern SUV is such a wonder nowadays. They come in all kinds of flavors and fulfill many kinds of purpose. They have all but completely replaced the full size sedan, are slowly eating away the midsize sedan segment, came into the compact segment, and have recently been replacing the sports sedan. The Range Rover Sport, when introduced, was an early pioneer into the segment, some had come before, but the sport solidified it into the mainstream. Lately, however, the Sport while quite good, has fallen into the bottom, smothered by X5M minivans, and AMG G-Wagen farm equipment. Land Rover has bitten back with the new Range Rover Sport SVR.

How does one make an SVR Range Rover? Land Rover has discovered, by taking the little red chili pepper of a Porsche, and shoving it directly up the posterior of the Ole’ Range Rover lighting a “Proverbial fire” up its ass. No, really. Power is up to 550 units, whilst torqes are up to 502 parts. Mated to the wonderful eight-speed ZF gear selector box, and this little rhinoceros is capable of hitting 60mph in roughly 4.5 parsecs… err seconds. Bitten by the lap time bug, even Land Rover had to test the SVR at the Ring, blitzing it faster than most hatchbacks at a wonderful 8:14, making it the fastest SUV this minute! The only thing more grotesque than its performance, is the liberal use of Carbon Fiber throughout.

She may handle like a kitten, but no fair maiden this SVR is. With 15’’ Brembo Discs to reign the ole’ girl in, The SVR can vomit the horizon as fast as she can eat it. Naturally, electronic aids along with Torque Vectoring allow for any SVR driver to embarrass their local Cayman-driving, Starbucks-douche through the canyons with the same Snarl we get in the F-type Coupe. That noise alone would make any WRX drop its drain plug in fear. Well enough though, because you are still driving a Range Rover Sport, you can still pull that Cayman out of the ditch, and haul your daily kill home… On the trail. Off-road capability is still present, surprisingly just as well as the standard Range Rover Sport, aside from a slightly lower departure angle thanks to the gaping jaw of the new front fascia.  The only rival in the segment with more off-road grunt would be the mighty ole’ G-Wagen.

Part of what makes the SVR such a big performer over the standard Sport, are the Magnorheological dampers, brake controlled Torque Vectoring, stiffer bushings throughout, Limited Slip Differentials, and Summer tires on optional 22’’ wheels. Naturally the all-aluminum structure of the Range Rover would make it the lightest of all at an astonishing… err 5,500lbs. Well that actually makes this $130,000 behemoth even more impressive at the job it does.

All in all, The Range Rover Sport SVR, adds an additional segment into the Sport Luxury SUV segment. So far it tops all its current rivals until the next big thing arrives. With impressive looks, and even more impressive performance to boot, the only sad thing is how many will be parked outside the local Nordstrom, not getting driven like they should be. A Shame, because I really like this thing, and it should be respected for what it’s capable of, not just a badge.

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